|In Remembrance of my Aunt
Evelyn Dale Potter
2-18-1951 ~ 9-16-1997
|Since my Grandma Ethel's death, I wanted to put together a page for my Aunt Dale. My Aunt Penny also has a webpage in remembrance of her. I am not a writer nor do I use the most proper grammer in my writings. I write the way I think, so please bare with me as I share with you my memories, thoughts and feelings.
She was one of the most loving people I know. She always treated my brothers and I as her own. She was much like a mother me, especially after my parents divorce. Always caring on how I felt. Always there when I needed her or wanted to be with her.
There's not much I can remember of her from when I was young. As a kid, I mostly played with my cousins. She told me, when I was a young teenager, that she taught me how to ask for things when I was a toddler. For some unknown reason to me, she laughed when she told me. Guess it was humorous when I was a toddler and I grunted for everything I wanted.
During the last few months of my parents marriage, she helped my dad take care of my bothers and I. We lived with our mom and our dad got us at during the nights when he was able to pick us up. She helped out by feeding us and took us school in the morning. My dad and my aunt, with her family, lived in Upland, CA and, my bothers and I lived in Rialto, CA. The early morning drive was about 30 or so miles and lasted about 30 to 45 minutes, a few times an hour. She got us to school on time and got her kids to their schools a bit late. She did all that for my father and for us.
After my parents divorce, we moved in with our dad. That was where we wanted to live...which is a totally different story. Anyway, she took care of us while our dad was at work. We were at her house for dinner every night. She got us to school or out the door to get us to the bus on time. She took us all every place she had to go to. She took us to doctors when we needed to. We practically lived with her.
For about four years, she was a major part of my life. She never tried to take the place of my mom, but she filled the spot. It was her nature to treat me as her son. With all her love and support, she never belittled me. She paid attention to me and to my feelings. She knew my and my brothers favorite foods and made sure there was extra servings for us. She allowed me my freedom to do what ever I wanted to do and to go where ever I wanted to go, to a certain extent because, she didn't allow bad behaviors.
Here are a couple of memories I have of her during those four years.
When my cousin, Brandon, and I were late for school or missed it all together, she told them that the car wouldn't start. The way she put it to us is that if she was not in the car to turn the key, then the car won't start. Clever....
It took her a long time but, she stopped smoking all together. Yea!!!
She enjoyed playing Scrabble, Up-words, and Perquackey with my Grandma Ethel.
She taught me how to play Solitaire.
There are so many memories I have of her but, they also enclude her family. Besides, there are to much details to explain everything. So, I'll keep those to myself.
My final thoughts and feelings... The day she died is a day I will never forget. I was in the field competing for top tank crew for the battlion (I was in the Marine Corps at the time). I had a good morning and then, around noon, a Red Cross message reached me. I was shocked to hear the news. My wife, Amy, and I planned on seeing her at the hospital the weekend right after that day.
To back track a little, she died early that morning. When my house was called, Amy answered the phone. The caller was my father and he told her about the death my aunt. Amy knew that the only way I could get out of the field was to get a Red Cross message to me. Regardless who called the Red Cross in the first place, I was notified and was able to get out of the field.
I was sadden and heart broken. A part of my heart died that day. I couldn't stop myself from crying in front of my friends. The ride out of the field was a slow one to me. All the memories of her flooded my mind. I couldn't think clearly. My first sargent tried to talk to me but, I didn't understand what he said, eventhough I heard him clearly.
When I got back to the company office, emergency leave papers (vacation) were waiting for me and so was Amy. I thought that my company would just let me go home for the day. The way it was put to them is that she help raised me and that qualified me for emergency leave. I took my forteen day leave.
Due to the lack of proper funds, my aunt was cremated and her ashes were spread acrossed the ocean. I never seen her body after her death. I wasn't invited to furneral. I never had a chance to say "good-bye". I was badly hurt by her death and I hated her for leaving me the way she did. That hate didn't last long.
For me to feel at peace, I went on a special trip. My family and I went to Upland where she once lived. Then we drove the way she took my brothers and I to school before my parents divorce. The whole road trip, I only talked about my Aunt Dale. It was the only I can be with her. The only way I could say good-bye. The only way I could mend my broken heart and be able to smile again.
When I was in Kuwait in December 1998 through April 1999, I thought about her from time to time. I missed her so much and I wished I was able to say good-bye to her. When I was totally alone, all I did was cry. I couldn't help it. I lost control of myself. All I wanted was to tell her that I love her and to say my final good-bye. I thought that trip of mine had worked for me but, it just subsided my hurt feelings.
When I returned home to California, I took another trip. That helped me to cope with my loss but, it wasn't the same as the trip before.
I finally got my closer when I saw my Grandma Ethel for the last time. I was able to say good-bye to the both of them. At first, I wanted to tell my grandma how I felt about my aunt and I want her to tell my aunt when she got to heaven. When I saw her, I couldn't say anything to her other that to intoduce to her my youngest son, Dylan. That night, my heart was at peace. This heart warming peace also subsided my hurt feelings.
There was a couple of times after my grandma's death I cried all of the sudden. I missed the both of them so much. I wanted them both back. I knew I had to let them go. Then, the more I thought about them, the less I cried. I decided to make a remembrance page for them. Finally, I have true closer. Finally, I can think about them and smile...
Aunt Dale... I will always love you... Rest in Peace, Forever
Final notes... This page was written on January 30, 2002.
Remembrance of Grandma Ethel
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